Well, technically, last night was not the first time I have delivered a sermon, but it was the first time I had ever spoken outside the context of worship and music, as well as the first time I had ever given a sermon for adults in our main sanctuary. It was my second time over-all, regardless of the context.

If you don’t know, we had our annual 30 hour, all-church fast on Monday and Tuesday, the culmination of which being an all church Break-Fast and worship service. I was volunteered to speak two weeks prior and was not exactly thrilled at this. I thoroughly enjoy my comfort zone and am not normally itching to step outside of it, but I know that comes from a lack of boldness and subsequent lack of faith. So instead of arguing and passing it off, I decided to trust that God had ordained for me to be stretched in this way and I got to work on the preparations.

I am humbled and honored to say that I owe much of the direction and flow of the message to my wife. After racking my brain for what seemed like eternity, she suggested that I speak on what it means to hunger and thirst after God. She has the spiritual gift of seeing the right answer for every situation (I don’t know what passage talks about that gift though). So I spent a good amount of time looking for the perfect concise passage to use. Unfortunately, that “perfect passage” is Psalm 63 which Jere is going through at the Rock right now, so that was out. Being thoroughly discouraged in not having a passage I branched out and decided that maybe I should speak on the importance of relying on God. That’s when I was led to remember Isaiah 55: 1-2 which says:

Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters, and you who no money, come, buy and eat. Come buy wine and milk, without money and without price. Why do you spend your money on that which is not bread and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and Delight yourselves in rich food. (ESV)

As I began to study and unpack this text I was overwhelmed by how much content was coming to the surface and how many different ways this text could be taught from. I soon realized that this could have easily been an hour long message or two hour-long messages. Needless to say, I was in over my head. I had taken in so much information in such a short time that I wasn’t sure what to do with it. Again, my wife was there to help me package my craziness into a presentable formula and point me in the right direction (I love how God continues to show me why He put me and Jess together). The rest of the prep time was spent boiling the message down to the bare essentials, namely, that God’s greatest desire for us is that we would find everlasting joy and satisfaction in Him, and that to do this He was pleased to crush His Son under the weight of all our sin so that He could then stand and make intercession on our behalf. 

As I got up to speak I could feel my heart beating in my throat, but I wasn’t nervous, at least not in the ordinary sense. I wasn’t (completely) worried about what people were going to think of me; I was much more concerned about what everyone would think about God when I was finished. Would I do Him justice? Would I clearly present His Word? Would the Gospel be made clear? I realized that my part in last night was so small that it didn’t matter what people thought about me. If I presented a false Gospel or an unclear message about how God relates to us, I would have to answer for that. And that thought was much more scary than whether or not I had my pants zipped up or if I was engaging or boring. 

One of the greatest comforts through all my preparation and presentation was that God was teaching me exactly what He was using me to teach everyone else, that reliance on Him is the only way to live. If I were relying on my own power to deliver a message about the importance of turning away from the world’s influence and relying on God, I might as well have just done a 25 minute stand-up act (which would not have been funny). It is humbling to present God’s word. So humbling.

I hope to bring what I have learned through this experience to my music preparations. My responsibility is no less diminished when I stand up to lead others into the presence of our Holy God, and in some ways it is greater because of the nature of music. It is so subjective (people split churches over what style is the “best”) that I need to be incredible careful and thoughtful in the songs that are chosen and the truths that are presented within them. Are they clear? Are they accurate and faithful to the word of God? Do they present the full council of the Word? Are they deep enough? Are they too deep? Will I be saying anything? If so, what, why, and for how long? I thank God that He has made my responsibility more apparent to me and for growing me as a worshiper, music leader, and teacher. Why He wants me, I have yet to figure out.